Im fat.

I took a look at the first post I ever wrote the other day. Entitled Battle of the Belly – Day 1, it proclaimed my desire to lose weight. Then I looked at my second post, Where Have You Been? Or The Continuation of Fatness where I continue to discuss weight loss.

When was it posted? 42 days after the first one. Ouch.

Then over the next 3-4 months, I continued to post about losing weight. Mostly when things were good. Then silence on the fatty side. What happened?

I quit losing weight. I stopped fighting. I failed.

And, instead of standing up and talking about it, I shut the hell up.

For a person that talks a lot about failure, its surprises me a bit that I failed to share in my failure.

Why does all this matter? Well, lemme tell ya!

Im back at the weight loss stuff. I learned over the course of the past year or so that being bipolar made weight loss difficult and weight gain easy. Apparently, most people who are bipolar tend to be addicted to food, drugs or sex. I choose unwisely and ended up being addicted to food and drugs. (If I had only known the choices!)

While its not easy to break an addiction to drugs, its really a binary decision. You either do drugs, or you dont.

I cant stop eating. Well, cant stop for long.

Recently, I found that I am insulin resistant. Due to that, I have started taking a drug called Metformin which is supposed to help my body become less insulin resistant. (BTW, a horrible side effect is it jacks up my stomach. Sometimes really, really badly. Add that to the standard Jewish disposition of having horrible stomach/GI/etc issues, its really, really not fun.)

Over the course of the past few weeks, I am losing weight naturally. Which means, if I want to get serious about losing weight, now is the time.

What’s my plan?

First and foremost, I am using Daily Burn. Daily Burn was a Techstars company last year, and has been doing phenomenally with some great investors. Along with an iPhone app, they allow you to track all your caloric intake (nutrition), workouts and the effect the nutritional choices and workouts have on your body (my belly). What I like about Daily Burn is the addition of social features, which are paramount to success (no one is in this alone, even if you are alone.)

The only benefit of Daily Burn is the ability for me to post most everything I am doing publicly. Here is my Daily Burn Locker Room. Its public. Enjoy. Occasionally it will tweet out achievements and other fitness related information.

I will use Nike+ for when I walk my dogs, or spend time on the treadmill. Again, I will post it on my blog (in a handy dandy widget).  I am going to take pictures of myself now and again, and post them to a flickr set on my account.  And, finally, I will record videos here and there, and post them to LearnToDuckTV.

Finally, I will ask everyone who knows me to keep me on track. If you think I am slippin’ just ask, or kick in my…butt–doubt you could miss it.

And, of course, periodically, I will write a post about where I am at.

As my mom used to say to me when I pretended I wasnt listening to her, “This time I am not fucking around.”

I want to lose about 100 lbs. Ive given myself about a year to do it.

And…here we go.